The Odyssey - Oh, Dear...

The video is a slick pre-release takedown of Christopher Nolan's Odyssey, the host swearing the movie is dead before release. Under it the comments are not a discussion, they are a stampede, and six strangers scroll in at the exact wrong moment.

FatigueDeluxeXL: WAIT do not scroll past this one the comments are ON FIRE

SeenItTuesday: this whole section aged like milk and nobody down here knows it yet. watch.

BoxOfficeBlues: the trailer has 800k dislikes and this video has more likes than the trailer. let that sit for a second.

BridgeOfTroy: ok so for anyone walking in, this is a takedown of Nolan's Odyssey. hold onto the word takedown, it matters later.

SeenItTuesday: it matters a LOT later. thats all im saying for now.

FatigueDeluxeXL: top comment is literally 'my fatigue's fatigue has fatigue' IM DONE

QuarterlySynergy: honestly this reads like my monday standup, everyone exhausted and nobody's started

TheLastWord: the trailer dropped. the internet filed for exhaustion.

FatigueDeluxeXL: someone said 'my fatigue died of exhaustion' HELLO

BoxOfficeBlues: must be nice to have energy to be tired about a movie. i have a job interview thursday.

BridgeOfTroy: hey we got you thursday. breathe. also same energy though, this section is a group nap

SeenItTuesday: half these fatigue jokes are copy paste btw. same guy in ten accounts.

QuarterlySynergy: fatigue is up quarter over quarter, we love to see the growth

FatigueDeluxeXL: new SUPER FATIGUE SQUARED DELUXE DEFINITIVE EDITION for switch 2 preorder now LMAOOO

BridgeOfTroy: and thats your whole personality now huh

BoxOfficeBlues: past fatigue. past exhaustion. i think im just at apathy about new movies at this point

TheLastWord: it is not fatigue. it is boredom in a costume.

SeenItTuesday: you are all so sure. tick tock.

QuarterlySynergy leans back and pretends to clock in

FatigueDeluxeXL bounces in his seat scrolling too fast to read

TheLastWord reads everything, sends nothing yet

BoxOfficeBlues rubs his eyes at the interview reminder

Then the section finds its favorite toy. One old line about a launched thousand ships, and the room starts rewriting it faster than anyone can read.

FatigueDeluxeXL: the face that launched a thousand YAWNS im crying

SeenItTuesday: the face that stopped a thousand downloads. that ones actually clean.

QuarterlySynergy: the face that launched a thousand carnival cruises, buffet line brawl included

BoxOfficeBlues: the face that launched a thousand refunds. relatable honestly.

FatigueDeluxeXL: THOUSAND WATERMELONS thousand cadillacs thousand THIS THREAD IS UNDEFEATED

BridgeOfTroy: ok a couple of these are just being nasty about the actress's looks. that part isnt the joke, drop it

SeenItTuesday: yeah the cruise ones are funny, the ugly ones are just cover for something else. skip.

QuarterlySynergy: someone said 'Helen of Detroit' and got 4k likes, this is what we are as a species

TheLastWord: one original line. nine hundred forwards.

FatigueDeluxeXL: 'i am Helen of Troy now' 'yeah and im santa claus' LMAOOO the reply killed the parent

BoxOfficeBlues: the best one is Menelaus going 'thank Zeus they took her, nobody give chase'

BridgeOfTroy: see thats the good version, its a bit not a beatdown. more of those

QuarterlySynergy: we should really circle back to whether any of us has seen a frame of this movie

SeenItTuesday: nobody in this thread has seen it. thats the whole point of the thread.

FatigueDeluxeXL: 'the face that scared Medusa' okay that one i felt in my SOUL

BoxOfficeBlues: half of these are stolen off the trailer comments too. recycled hate, my favorite genre

TheLastWord: they hate the movie and copy each other. cute.

BridgeOfTroy: brutal but not wrong

FatigueDeluxeXL furiously typing a tenth thousand-ships variant

BridgeOfTroy quietly hides the meanest reply

SeenItTuesday shrugs at another forwarded joke

BoxOfficeBlues scrolls past the likes counter and winces

The jokes cool for a second, and under them something heavier surfaces. Not this movie. All of them. The whole conveyor belt.

QuarterlySynergy: ok real talk, the top line here is 'dont ask questions, just consume product'. thats not a movie note thats my whole industry

BoxOfficeBlues: that quote will never not be relevant. depressing that it fits everything now.

SeenItTuesday: trash has been the norm for like ten years. this isnt new, we just got loud about it

BridgeOfTroy: to be fair some of that is people going 'i just rewatch old stuff now'. thats not hate, thats just tired

FatigueDeluxeXL: SOMEONE SAID they rewatched back to the future and it got BETTER with age lmaooo grandpa core

QuarterlySynergy: and be excited for next product! consume it or we find an economic unit that will!

TheLastWord: new thing comes out. i do not acknowledge it. peace.

BoxOfficeBlues: must be nice to just opt out. some of us still hope the next one is the one

BridgeOfTroy: nothing wrong with hoping man. you keep hoping.

SeenItTuesday: one guy down there said 'try judging something on its merits' and got buried. thats the real fatigue, nobody wants to

FatigueDeluxeXL: 'Sheep Detective' with the wolverine guy is apparently good?? someone recommended it in a HATE thread

QuarterlySynergy: see this is how my meetings go, we start on strategy and end on movie recs

BridgeOfTroy: and nobody stops you, thats the tragedy

SeenItTuesday: the point is nobody in here has watched it and everyone has a verdict. keep that.

BoxOfficeBlues: at this point i dont even have movie fatigue. i have Hollywood fatigue. the whole building.

FatigueDeluxeXL: someone said its a money laundering scheme LMAO these comments think they cracked the case

TheLastWord: or the movie is just a movie. wild theory.

QuarterlySynergy waves his hands like he is presenting slides

BoxOfficeBlues stares at the rewatch comments a beat too long

TheLastWord types one line, sends, goes quiet again

SeenItTuesday leans in, still not telling them the twist

The talk drops to money, and the room finds a paradox it cannot stop poking. Nobody wants to pay for it. Nobody wants to steal it either.

FatigueDeluxeXL: TOP COMMENT 'in two weeks i wont be pirating this' i cannot breathe

SeenItTuesday: the reply is 'i will pirate it just for the joy of deleting it unwatched'. thats commitment i respect

BoxOfficeBlues: someone said theyd pay NOT to see it. thats a business model actually

QuarterlySynergy: guy goes 'i wouldnt even watch this free with ads', sir that is the lowest bar we have

FatigueDeluxeXL: another one said not even free WITHOUT ads youd have to PAY him LMAOOO

BridgeOfTroy: ok but one person actually asked 'name a movie you love then, give me a baseline'. good question honestly

SeenItTuesday: and nobody answered. because the point was never the movie

TheLastWord: best anti piracy ad ever made.

FatigueDeluxeXL: DAIN JUST ENDED THE THREAD IN SIX WORDS

QuarterlySynergy: my favorite is 'im waiting for it to release on a service i dont subscribe to'. thats layered laziness

BoxOfficeBlues: one guy said hes just watching National Lampoon's Vacation instead. holiday road. honestly a plan

BridgeOfTroy: see these are the funny ones, its all bark. nobody actually cares enough to hate it, they care enough to joke

SeenItTuesday: some of them will absolutely buy a ticket to complain in person. bookmark that.

FatigueDeluxeXL: one dude said july seventeenth is officially 'watch Troy instead' day. petition SIGNED

QuarterlySynergy: im filing that as a company holiday, everyone gets Troy day off

BoxOfficeBlues: meanwhile this thing is tracking huge and im budgeting groceries. cool cool cool

BridgeOfTroy: groceries win, movie loses. you're fine.

TheLastWord: nobody mentioned owning it. nobody ever does.

FatigueDeluxeXL gasps at the delete-it-unwatched reply

BoxOfficeBlues quietly does grocery math in his head

BridgeOfTroy grins at the Troy day petition

SeenItTuesday checks the release date and says nothing

Someone names the actors, and the whole room recognizes the same faces they have seen in everything for years. The complaint writes itself.

BoxOfficeBlues: top line, 'Tom Holland comes in a package and it includes Zendaya every time'. that got me

FatigueDeluxeXL: EVERYONE keeps saying Zendaya is the female Pedro Pascal, the overcast actor singularity LMAO

SeenItTuesday: she plays the same character every time, thats the actual gripe and its fair. angsty teen number nine

QuarterlySynergy: we have a guy at work in every meeting whether or not he's on the project. same energy. Zendaya is that guy

BridgeOfTroy: ok in fairness people said she was genuinely good in Euphoria. its not that she cant, its that shes everywhere

BoxOfficeBlues: someone said theyve had Zendaya fatigue since The Greatest Showman. nine years ago. i felt that in my spine

FatigueDeluxeXL: 'is Pedro Pascal the female version of Pedro Pascal' i had to sit down

SeenItTuesday: the funniest real critique is 'a dude from Boston playing Odysseus king of Ithaca'. the accent thing

QuarterlySynergy: yeah the modern american dialogue in a greek epic, thats a genuine ouch. immersion gone

TheLastWord: same six faces. new costumes. we notice.

FatigueDeluxeXL: the ACTOR SINGULARITY someone please make merch

BridgeOfTroy: and again some of these slide into just trashing how people look. thats not casting talk. thats just being mean, skip it

SeenItTuesday: yeah keep it on the acting and the accents, thats the real note. the rest is cover

BoxOfficeBlues: must be nice to be in everything and still have people mad. id take the mad. id take any of it

BridgeOfTroy: you good over there?

BoxOfficeBlues: im fine. thursday interview. its fine.

QuarterlySynergy: we should circle back to whether the acting is actually bad or whether we are just tired of the faces

SeenItTuesday: tired of the faces. thats it. now watch that flip too.

TheLastWord: everything in here is about to flip.

FatigueDeluxeXL pretends to short circuit over the singularity joke

BoxOfficeBlues glances at his own reflection in the dark screen

BridgeOfTroy quietly downvotes a looks-based dunk

SeenItTuesday smirks at his own tick tock warning

The knives turn to the director himself. The man who made the smart movies, now accused of turning on his own audience.

FatigueDeluxeXL: 'Nolan lived long enough to see himself become the villain' OKAY that line is HARD

BoxOfficeBlues: same guy who made Interstellar. someone said 'well, things have gone to shit havent they'

QuarterlySynergy: this is every founder who got one good quarter and thinks he cant miss. i see it weekly

SeenItTuesday: the top theory down there is 'this is Nolan's humiliation ritual to win the award'. people really typed that with a straight face

BridgeOfTroy: ok what they mean is they think he made it deliberately safe to win prizes. its a conspiracy but its a funny one

FatigueDeluxeXL: someone pointed out the trailer says 'defy the gods' and in the actual Odyssey that is the ENTIRE thing you are not supposed to do LMAO

SeenItTuesday: no thats a real hit actually. thirty years to humble himself before the gods and the tagline is defy them. thats a miss

BoxOfficeBlues: someone did the whole 'why so serious' to 'why should we take this serious' bit. clean

QuarterlySynergy: the George Lucas comparison is doing numbers, 'at least Lucas could self reflect and fix Jar Jar'

TheLastWord: guy said he'd list the inaccuracies but he'd hit the character limit.

FatigueDeluxeXL: wildest take in here is 'Zack Snyder would've done this with 300 energy' and honestly?? i'd watch that

BridgeOfTroy: the color one is a good catch though, someone said the Odyssey uses color as a metaphor and the trailer is all washed out grey

SeenItTuesday: see when they aim at the actual text they land. when they aim at people they flail.

BoxOfficeBlues: and this man is still gonna open to a fortune. villain arc pays great apparently

QuarterlySynergy: villain arc IS the promotion track, i have watched it happen

FatigueDeluxeXL: 'went from why so serious to why should we take this serious' im putting it on a shirt

BridgeOfTroy: or, hot take, maybe the movie is fine and the trailer was just cut badly. happens all the time

SeenItTuesday: somebody said it. finally. hold that thought exactly where it is.

TheLastWord: you keep saying hold that. why.

FatigueDeluxeXL claps at the defy the gods catch

SeenItTuesday grins wider and refuses to explain

BoxOfficeBlues slumps at the box office talk

BridgeOfTroy nods at the color metaphor point

And then the timestamps in the newer replies change. The movie is out. The first person who actually walked into a theater comes back, and the room's footing shifts.

SeenItTuesday: ok. now. the film is out. and im gonna let the comments do it to you.

FatigueDeluxeXL: WAIT people are saying it was GOOD?? in the HATE thread?? whats HAPPENING

BridgeOfTroy: someone literally wrote 'this movie was incredible i just got back from watching it'. under a takedown video

BoxOfficeBlues: and its tracking 250 million opening weekend. 250. i cannot even track my rent.

QuarterlySynergy: so the product everyone said theyd never consume is about to consume everyone. love a plot twist

SeenItTuesday: and the funniest part, someone who saw it explained Elliot Page's whole role and it turns out its written exactly right, unsuited for war, tricked into it, doomed. the thing people were mad about is literally the point

TheLastWord: they were mad at stuff that wasnt in the film.

FatigueDeluxeXL: one guy said the outrage crowd wont like it because 'the combat takes place outside of internet comment sections' LMAOOOO

BridgeOfTroy: thats a body shot and its aimed at all of us in here

BoxOfficeBlues: someone called it a masterpiece and 'exactly how you do this'. and i believe them and i hate that i believe them

QuarterlySynergy: this is the meeting where the thing you mocked ships and works and now you have to clap

SeenItTuesday: even the Boston accent guy, somebody saw it and said the mixed casting actually helps you track who's who in a huge cast. the note flipped

FatigueDeluxeXL: wait so do WE have to see it now

BridgeOfTroy: maybe? forming a verdict before release is the oldest mistake in the book and this whole thread just stepped on the rake

TheLastWord: the Sideshow Bob rake. except its us.

BoxOfficeBlues: ...

SeenItTuesday: yeah. this is the part i told you to hold.

FatigueDeluxeXL: the comments are TURNING i can see it happening live

SeenItTuesday finally sits back, twist delivered

FatigueDeluxeXL grabs his head reading the incredible reply

BoxOfficeBlues goes completely still at 250 million

BridgeOfTroy slow facepalm at the rake

Now the newest replies are all one flavor. The takedown that promised a disaster is sitting next to a hit, and the section turns on the man who made it.

FatigueDeluxeXL: 'AGED LIKE MILK' its everywhere now this is the only comment left

SeenItTuesday: told you at the top. this whole section aged like milk. i just watched it curdle in order.

BoxOfficeBlues: somebody said the host is 'left scrambling'. two days out and still no review posted

QuarterlySynergy: everyone else filed their report on day one and this guy is suddenly very busy. i know that move. i INVENTED that move

BridgeOfTroy: in fairness one guy pushed back, 'its not objectively proven to be good, calm down'. thats fair too, its allowed to just be okay

FatigueDeluxeXL: the whole thread is just 'WHERE IS THE REVIEW' 'WHENS THE VIDEO BRO' on loop LMAO

SeenItTuesday: the prediction going around is he'll bury the review on his second channel like last time. someone said put it on a bingo card

TheLastWord: the apology will be quiet. the silence will be loud.

FatigueDeluxeXL: SHE DID IT AGAIN six words game over

BoxOfficeBlues: you make one wrong call and the whole internet remembers forever. meanwhile i make zero calls and nobody remembers me at all

BridgeOfTroy: one of those is worse, and its not yours. you're allowed to just be quiet and fine

QuarterlySynergy: the man needs to circle back with a statement and he knows it and he is NOT doing it

SeenItTuesday: and to be clear the lesson isnt the movie is a masterpiece. its just, dont bury a body before you find one

FatigueDeluxeXL: big words for the guy who spammed thousand yawns

SeenItTuesday: yeah okay i did that too. curdled with the rest of you.

BoxOfficeBlues: someone joked 'i polled 357000 people and 12 liked it, not 7'. even the cope has spreadsheets now

QuarterlySynergy: twelve out of 357000, thats a rounding error and a quarterly target somehow

BridgeOfTroy: honestly the arc of this thread is perfect. certain, louder, wrong, silent. in that order

TheLastWord: certain. louder. wrong. quiet. every time.

FatigueDeluxeXL points at the where-is-the-review spam

BoxOfficeBlues slowly stops arguing with himself

QuarterlySynergy drafts a fake statement and deletes it

BridgeOfTroy leans back, thread finally making sense

The newest replies slow to a trickle. The verdict, whatever it was, already happened without any of them, and one by one the room signs off.

SeenItTuesday: so. the takedown got taken down. by a calendar. thats the movie.

FatigueDeluxeXL: im gonna go actually WATCH it and report back this is unbearable not knowing

QuarterlySynergy: im still taking Troy day off though. non negotiable. circling back never.

BoxOfficeBlues: maybe ill see it. maybe good things happen to people who show up. thursday first. then maybe the movie.

BridgeOfTroy: look at you. interview then a movie. thats a full week. go get it

FatigueDeluxeXL: the face that launched a thousand of US logging off

SeenItTuesday: not bad. still stolen off the trailer though.

QuarterlySynergy: clocking out. tell Nolan i said no notes, apparently.

BoxOfficeBlues: if it aged like milk at least it was funny going sour. see you all next disaster.

BridgeOfTroy: next one we wait for the movie first. deal? no deal. i know.

FatigueDeluxeXL: we will NEVER do that and thats the fun

TheLastWord: certain. louder. wrong. goodnight.

SeenItTuesday closes the tab without checking who won

FatigueDeluxeXL sprints off to buy a ticket

BoxOfficeBlues stands up, a little lighter than he sat down

BridgeOfTroy waves at the empty replies

QuarterlySynergy mimes punching a time card

TheLastWord sends the last line and is gone first

The replies stop refreshing. The takedown sits where it always sat, the movie plays in theaters none of them predicted, and the comment section empties out one tired joke at a time, the way it filled.