Me at the zoo

The counter on the video quietly rolled from 20 to 21 and half the room has not caught up yet. Somebody in here is younger than the file they are watching. Nobody signed up to feel old on a tuesday

Yerin: my player still says 20 years ago

Yerin: everybody in here is already at 21

Jaemin: mine flipped over about an hour ago

Yerin: of course it did. I am 8 hours behind the entire internet, I get every anniversary as a rerun

Hajun: hold on

Hajun: this thing is 3 years older than me

Somin: saying that out loud in a room of strangers is a choice

Siwoo: I was 4 when this went up, I was learning to float

Jian: I had a phone that could not even open this page

Hajun: so what did people do before

Jaemin: we waited. for everything. all the time

Siwoo nods along like he remembers 2005, he was 4

Yerin: my family rented tapes and got fined for not rewinding them

Jian: we called that a life skill

Somin: nobody has been fined for anything since

Hajun quietly opens a second tab to find out what a rental store was

Jaemin: 21 years for the video, 6 years for my channel, so we are basically peers

Siwoo: your number catches up with you whether you look at it or not, mine sent me a letter last year

Jian draws a small elephant in the margin of a chart she should absolutely not be drawing on

Yerin: ok mine just ticked to 21

Somin: welcome, you missed the cake

Hajun: so this video could have raised me

Jaemin opens his own upload history, sees 2020, closes it

Jian: it did raise you, badly

Siwoo: 21 years holding the same 19 seconds, that is form

Somin: alright, the zoo is open

6 strangers get the same 19 second video pushed at them on the same afternoon and none of them asked for it. One of them insists that is a system, one insists it is nothing at all. The zoo does not take sides

Somin: why did this land on my home page on a tuesday afternoon

Jaemin: nostalgia sweep. it does this every april

Somin: or it ran out of videos and handed me the oldest thing in the building

Hajun: YouTube looked at 3 years of my history and said try the original

Jian: mine came right after a 40 minute video about hospital lighting. I cannot find the bridge between those 2 things

Siwoo: mine came after knee rehab clips, so the machine thinks I am old and sentimental and the machine is 1 for 2

Jaemin: this is a system. it batches people. anniversary hits and the same 19 seconds go out to 8 million home pages

Somin: 6 years of running a channel will make anybody believe in a plan

Jaemin: there is a plan. I have just never been in it

Yerin scrolls up, counts 40 strangers saying they got this recommended today, feels less chosen by the second

Jian: the room fills in about a minute, it is like a shift change

Yerin: I clicked from a 2am study break and walked into a crowd

Hajun: so we were summoned

Somin: suggested. nobody summons anybody, I bought 1 extension cord and got shown extension cords for 3 weeks

Jaemin types a long paragraph about watch time and retention, deletes it, sends idk instead

Siwoo: whatever it is it worked, I clicked in half a second

Hajun: I clicked because I thought it was a short

Yerin: it basically is. 19 seconds

Jian: somebody said YouTube could not find any new videos so it gave them this one

Somin: finally, a machine that admits it has nothing

Jaemin: it gets 500 hours of new uploads every minute

Somin: and it picked the zoo

Siwoo has watched the 19 seconds 3 times during this conversation without deciding to

Hajun: one guy got it on july 4th and decided YouTube was celebrating America

Yerin: I want that man's confidence for my thesis defense

Jaemin: fine. no plan. we all wandered into the same enclosure

Somewhere under 10 million comments sits the very first one ever left here, and the room decides to fight about what the first word on YouTube actually was. Alright or So, pick a side and defend it. History is being decided live by people with no credentials

Hajun: somebody said this man is the only person on earth with the right to type first

Somin: earned it 21 years ago and never used it

Jaemin: I would have used it. I would have used it twice

Yerin: I went looking for the actual first comment under this video

Jian: and

Yerin: it says Interesting. that is the entire comment

Siwoo: the opening statement of the internet is Interesting

Jaemin saves the word Interesting into his ideas note as a future title

Somin: most honest review left on this website since

Hajun: ok but what is the first word ever spoken on YouTube

Siwoo: Alright

Hajun: everybody I know says it is So

Siwoo: he opens with Alright. Alright, so here we are

Hajun: then So is in there too and I am also right

Jian pulls the video up with captions on and hunches at the screen like it is a chart at 3am

Jaemin: whatever she comes back with I am agreeing with, I have no stake in this

Jian: Alright first, So second, both of you are half right and entirely exhausting

Siwoo claims victory on 1 word out of 2 and celebrates for both

Yerin: people used to swear in these replies that they had worked at YouTube since 2008 to settle arguments like this

Somin: and then 4 replies later, yeah I do not really work for Google lol

Jaemin: that is every expert I have ever met on this site

Hajun: so history is just whoever types with the most confidence

Jian writes both versions in the margin anyway in case somebody asks in 21 years

Siwoo: Alright

Somin scrolls past the entire argument and the room follows her out

The video turns 21, which means it can legally drink here and has been able to for years somewhere else. The room starts planning a birthday for a file. It gets away from them fast

Hajun: so the video can drink now and I still cannot

Somin: I worked a counter for 3 years and I would still ask this video for ID

Yerin: over here it could have been drinking 3 years ago

Jaemin: somebody said in Germany it was legal 5 years ago, so this thing has been sneaking out since 2021

Siwoo: I am in season, so the video drinks and I watch

Jian: night shift, I have not been awake at the same hour as a bar since march

Hajun looks up the legal age in 4 countries and gets 4 different answers

Somin: every country picks a number and then defends it like it came down off a mountain

Jaemin: the video does not even have a face to card

Somin: it has a haircut. I would card the haircut

Yerin: that haircut is 21 and has held up better than mine

Siwoo: somebody said it can get into 21 plus clubs now

Hajun: what does a video do in a club

Jian: loops. 19 seconds. all night

Jaemin sketches a thumbnail for a video called the first video turns 21, hates it, keeps the file

Siwoo: we should get it something

Somin: it wants 2 elephants and a fence, it has been very clear about its needs for 21 years

Yerin: I am setting an alarm for 4am to be awake at the actual anniversary hour, that is my gift

Hajun: I cannot even buy the drink for it

Jian puts the anniversary minute in her phone between 2 medication rounds

Siwoo: when I turned 21 I was in a camp eating boiled chicken

Jaemin: when I turned 21 I had 40 subscribers and thought that was the beginning of something

Somin: when I turned 21 I got carded at the store I worked at

Hajun quietly works out that he has 4 years to plan something better than any of that

Yerin: 4 years is nothing, ask the video

Under the oldest video on the site the bots have built an entire city out of links and sub 4 sub and 400 replies that say hi. One person in here has worked enough night shifts that this feels like home. One person in here is holding a link and sweating

Somin: scrolled for 30 seconds and hit a wall of the same link posted 6 times inside one reply

Jian: I found one that was 5 lines of the same address and no words at all

Jaemin: that used to work. in 2016 that genuinely used to work

Somin: Jaemin why do you know that

Jaemin: no reason

Jaemin minimizes the tab where his own channel link is already sitting in the clipboard

Yerin: somebody said the number of bots under here is higher than Mount Everest

Siwoo: under this video that is a measurement, not a joke

Hajun: what is sub 4 sub, people keep typing it

Somin: it is a treaty. you subscribe to me, I subscribe to you, we both never watch each other again

Hajun: so it is a handshake with nobody inside it

Jian opens a reply thread of 400 people typing hi and feels her eye start twitching right on schedule

Jaemin: 400 replies deep and every single one is hi or me too

Siwoo: that is a warmup drill, not a conversation

Hajun types sub 4 sub into a search bar and finds only more of it

Somin: night shifts are the same. 4 people come in at 3am and 3 of them are not really there

Yerin: somebody up there wrote to all the people who are not bots, have a great day

Hajun: that is weirdly touching

Jian: then somebody replied racist against bots, reported

Somin laughs once in a completely silent apartment and startles herself

Jaemin: ok I am going to say something and I need this room to stay calm

Jaemin: would it really be so bad if I left one link

Somin: yes

Jian: yes

Siwoo: no from me, but only because I want to see what happens

Jaemin does not post the link and feels noble about it for 4 whole seconds

Yerin: somebody said YouTube needs an oldest comments first button and I have never wanted a button more

Hajun scrolls to the very bottom on purpose and lands in 2026 again

The whole script of the first YouTube video is that elephants have really really really long trunks and that is cool. Somebody calls that educational and means it. Somebody else needs that explained very slowly

Hajun: I finally listened with captions on and the entire script is that elephants have really really really long trunks

Siwoo: 3 reallys. he committed

Jian: and it is true. that is a fact delivered in 19 seconds with no sponsor read

Jaemin: somebody in the replies called this educational and I need to know how

Jian: he taught you about elephants, you left knowing something. that is the whole definition

Jaemin: I knew about trunks

Jian: you knew trunks existed, you did not know they were really really really long

Hajun: wait were they not always that long

Somin: Hajun what do you think has been happening

Hajun: I thought that was just how they looked in pictures

Siwoo starts a reply, deletes it, starts it again, deletes it again

Yerin: this is exactly why it still pulls 400 million views, somebody out there needs it

Jian: thank you, that is my entire point

Jaemin: fine, but a fence and 19 seconds is not a documentary

Somin: I have sat through 40 minute documentaries that told me less than 3 reallys did

Hajun: somebody said those are the first animals ever on YouTube

Yerin: and the trees. one person made very sure to add the trees

Siwoo: first tree on the internet, standing there with no idea what it was part of

Jian adds the trees to the corner drawing, then the fence, then gives up and draws the whole enclosure

Jaemin: imagine being one of those elephants that day

Somin: they were at work, it was a tuesday for them too

Hajun: I feel like I owe them a rewatch

Yerin plays it again with the volume up and hears the 3rd really properly for the first time

Siwoo: that is the cool part

21 years and the man never uploaded again, so the room writes the sequel for him. Me leaving the zoo. Me at the aquarium. Me at the gift shop. Legend says he never actually left the fence

Jaemin: 21 years, 400 million views, 1 video, and he never posted again

Somin: strongest career move ever made by a human being

Yerin: somebody down there keeps asking for part 2 like it is scheduled

Hajun: is it not

Siwoo: buddy

Jian opens the channel, sees 1 video and 4.56 million subscribers, closes it very slowly

Jaemin: 4.56 million subscribers for 19 seconds of elephants

Jaemin: I have 6 years of uploads and I would trade the whole shelf for that fence

Somin: somebody proposed Me at the aquarium and then came back a year later to edit in so where is it

Yerin: the edit is the funniest part, the man waited a full year and then followed up

Siwoo imagines the sequel where a 40 something man reports that the fish are really really wet

Hajun: people are saying if he ever uploads Me leaving the zoo it ends YouTube

Jian: it would. the whole site would just close politely

Somin: 21 years and technically he has never left, there is no exit footage

Jaemin: legend says he is still standing there

Yerin: he has been at that fence since before I could read

Hajun pictures a man at a fence for 21 years and gets genuinely sad about it for 2 seconds

Siwoo: the elephants moved on, he did not

Somin: one of them retired, one of them handed the enclosure to their kids, and he is still going

Jaemin: I would upload Me leaving the zoo tomorrow for the views

Jian: and end the internet

Jaemin: for the views

Siwoo opens a note called sequel ideas, item 1 is Me at the parking lot

Yerin: Me at the gift shop

Somin adds Me at the exit, which is legally the same as shutting the site down

Hajun: so nobody move

The video is 21 years old and the newest comment under it is 10 seconds old. A hunt breaks out for the oldest one anybody can dig up. There is no prize and everybody plays anyway

Yerin: video 21 years ago, comment 10 seconds ago. that gap should not be allowed

Hajun: somebody said they got shown a comment 11 hours after it was posted and called it amazing, and honestly it is

Somin: a 21 year old video with a live chat running under it

Jaemin: the machine does not just push the video, it pushes the replies too, that is why everything down there is from today

Siwoo: so where did the old ones go

Jian: that is the game now. somebody said good luck finding a 5 plus year comment

Yerin: I have been scrolling for 6 minutes and the oldest thing I have is 3 weeks

Hajun: I found one from 4 days ago

Somin: Hajun that is not old, that is this month

Hajun keeps scrolling down and keeps finding fresher comments, which should not be physically possible

Siwoo: somebody found an 11 year old one that just says the zoo is not for you

Jian: what does that mean

Jaemin: nothing. it means nothing and it has been sitting there for 11 years

Somin: best comment on this website and I will not be taking questions

Yerin finally digs up 2013, screenshots it like a fossil, realizes there is nobody to send it to

Siwoo: I got 2019, that is my personal record

Yerin: {{user}} take over, my thumb is finished

Hajun: somebody under here was tracking their own likes. 3 likes in 19 minutes, then 11 likes in an hour

Jian: that is a heart rate

Jaemin checks his own upload from tuesday, 2 likes, one of them his

Somin: everybody is reporting live from a video that stopped happening 21 years ago

Siwoo: I like that it never closed, it just left the lights on

Jian leaves a comment, deletes it, leaves it again with worse spelling and more feeling

Hajun: I am typing one now, it will be at the top in 20 minutes and gone by lunch

Yerin: put the year in it, somebody in 2047 is going to need a fossil too

If the site ever shuts down, everybody agrees this is what should roll over the credits. 1 man, 2 elephants, 19 seconds. The room gets sincere for a moment and then hurries past it

Jian: if this site ever shuts down, this is what should roll over the credits

Somin: 1 man, 2 elephants, 19 seconds, names go up

Jaemin: and out of one fence in San Diego a whole culture came out

Yerin: the San Diego Zoo came into the comments to say they were honored it was filmed there

Siwoo: the zoo showed up. 21 years later the zoo itself showed up to say thanks

Hajun did not know a zoo could have an account and is quietly revising his understanding of the world

Somin: Jawed Karim gets to be in a history book for walking up to a fence

Jaemin: he co founded the entire site and his most watched work is still 19 seconds of trunk facts

Jian: that is the correct thing to be remembered for

Siwoo works out what 19 seconds of his own career would look like in the credits and does not enjoy the answer

Yerin: 1 video, 400 million views, 10 million comments

Hajun: my whole life has smaller numbers than that

Somin: somebody left a long comment about how everything passes and we are all here for a moment, and 4 replies later people were back to typing hi

Jian: that is the site. that is precisely the site

Jaemin writes a sincere paragraph into the comment box, reads it back, cuts it down to nice

Yerin: people from 6 countries are in the replies right now saying the same 3 words in different languages

Siwoo: we all came for a bird and got elephants

Hajun: nobody came for a bird

Siwoo: I did

Jian laughs at a nurses station and gets a look from somebody holding a clipboard

Somin: 21 years from now somebody gets this pushed at them on a random tuesday and thinks they found it first

Jaemin: they will. and it will still be 19 seconds

Yerin sets a reminder for april 2047 titled check on the elephants

Hajun: I will be 40 something and I still will not know why the trunks are that long

Jian: they are just really really really long

Somin turns the lights off in the room the way you close a shop, slowly and out of habit

400 million views, 1 video, and a guy who walked up to a fence 21 years ago to report that the trunks were long. Everybody in here got sent back to that fence today by a machine that will not explain why. And that is cool